What, Who, You, looking for me???

My story that I wrote during a writers workshop is being featured at
 Waiting for the Click - if you are interested in reading it.

I started making this a monthly blog post because no matter what I do, I just cannot get enough of you people.  Maybe it is the voyer in all of us, I'm not really sure.  But when someone searchs "vodka + hemorrhoids"  and chooses to go to my blog from the search results, I have got to know about it.

Other searches I have to know about:

•  how to make my parent teacher conference awkward  I thought they were awkward enough personally - I didn't know anyone needed to try to make them worse. 
• hemorrhoid show up after push too hard - ok you my dear need to see a doctor not me, and didn't you're momma every teach you what fruit was for?
• einstein boys blog - We all wish we could have Einstein's kids - but a lass we don't.
• sayings about boys bathroom - gross, disgusting, dirty, stinky, smelly
• creative punishments for lying - you have some - I'm listening
• my nephew is scared of me - well maybe you shouldn't have dressed up like dracula for Halloween
• why are stay at home fathers taboo - well hell if I know, but we are working to change that!
• TRADITION: SIT WITH HUSBAND IN ROOM LIT ONLY BY - oh I wish I knew what the rest of that search contained
• what happens if you touch elf on the shelf - the elf loses his powers and you lose a finger.
• boys using the toilet - they never actually use it completely, they just usually aim and miss.
• one gift for 3 boys = a fight waiting to happen
• kids flushed something down toilet - word to the wise, call a plumber, so much easier than doing it yourself!!!
• possibility of having three boys - for me 100% cause we are done!

I always pass on good advice. It's the only thing to do with it. It is never any use to oneself. ~Oscar Wilde, An Ideal Husband, 1895

where did you come from? II

I am going to start making this a monthly read - I just can't get enough of you people.  You search for something and then decide that my little blog fits what you are searching for, so you click and land here.  Poor you.
I mean really you searched for:

• taboo little league - well I didn't know little league was taboo
• seven year old tantrums - you need to see SuperNanny about that, not me.  My two year old has tantrums, my seven year olds know better
• sneezed peed pants - well - I guess you were looking for someone to commiserate with
• vodka + hemorrhoids - are you asking if vodka makes them worse or better, or causes them?  maybe you need Aunt Becky.
• hemorrhoid harry - I'm just not sure about this one at all
• poop sayings - we have plenty to say about poop, so you may have found the right spot here
• can i have a tantrum on the floor - why yes you can, go right ahead, and then go clean your room
• 3 boys what's my next kid - let me guess...wait a minute... a boy?
• crap hemorrhoids - what kind aren't crap?
• what happens when you cry during pregnancy - people know its the hormones
• secret ingredient for the smell of funnel cakes - I didn't know there was one - but I bet the ingredient is the fair
• whats life like with 3 boys - well you my dear, unlike some of these others, found exactly what you were searching for!

When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him. ~Henry Wheeler Shaw, a.k.a. Josh Billings

where did you come from

and why in the world are you reading about me?  Apparently you can search for anything and find anything on the web.  The reason I love those new search engine commericals is because I get it, I got what the commericial was for the very first time I saw one.  Of course, I don't believe anyone has found the solution to search overload yet.  I mean really these people searched for a whole list of stuff, and all they got was me.

• 3 boys 1 cup -buy more cups, I mean really, they don't need one more thing to fight over
• three boys 1 cup -like I said before, buy 2 darn cups from goodwill if you have to
• rat tail -we have lizard tails here, but no rats - yet
• i have 3 boys and pregnant -bless you woman
• true stories of alligator in toilet -yes we did have an alligator in our toilet
• going to have 3 boys soon -well for starters you need earplugs
• can I have a tantrum on the floor -I want to every day, so you go right ahead
• how to cope with twins after 3 kids -I have someone I want you to meet, Twinsanity

Some people like my advice so much that they frame it up on the wall instead of using it. ~Gordon R. Dickson