scared of little ol' me???

Scary Mommy is holding an awesome contest this week.  She wants to know what makes us scary, and the scariest Mom will win a prize!  She defines scary a little differently than most would think:

"I believe a Scary Mommy is a mother who doesn’t leave the house wearing lipstick at all times. A Scary Mommy loves her kids to death, but will admit to feeling totally overwhelmed and exhausted by the gig. A Scary Mommy doesn’t really care what other people think, and a Scary Mommy thinks that all mothers win when we admit our weaknesses. How would you describe it? It’s up to you!"

As Mom's we each have our own definition of scary.  Our kids probably have hundreds examples of how we are scary.  My hubby may say my hair in the morning is pretty scary.  But as I thought about how I was scary, I didn't think I could answer this question.  I didn't think the general idea applied to me - even though I never wear lipstick, love my kids more than life, are willing to go to jail for them, can be gross with the best of them, and admit exhaustion on more than one occasion.  But that's a Mom, that's what we do.  We do whatever it takes to get the job done.

Then I had a realization.  It's not what we think of ourselves, but how other's perceive us.

I am not afraid to scream politely tell children, even those who are not my own, to stop jumping off the top of the picnic table, stop taking the legs out from underneath the little kids on the slip and slide and to stop throwing rocks at cars.  This prompted a Dad nearby to ask "Have you ever been a drill instructor?"  He probably thought I was scary -

And then there was the occasion at my son's birthday/pool party when I had all the dripping wet children line up on the kitchen floor to sing happy birthday instead of on the carpet.  Perfectly sane line of reasoning I thought, until my own son decided he was above everyone else and could stand on the carpet.  I did not get overwhelmed and freak out, instead I politely told him to get off the carpet... as my father in law snapped a picture.
 

 

My husband, brother, and father-in-law all believe this is the proof that I am the Scariest Mommy.  Do you???

words that are taboo

We all know what curse words are but what about those other words - those words that aren't "bad" but you don't want your kids to say anyway.

Yesterday at Curriculum Night, I was talking to another Mom who had been informed by the teacher that her son told a girl "He had to go piss." She was mortified that her second grader used the word PISS.

Of course this came only hours after I read Mrs. Fish's blog about her son being in trouble for using the word STUPID.

In our house we have a few words that I do not allow at all - stupid, idiot, crap. And instead of curse words I've been known to say things like
"Oh Snap" and "You're full of poodookie dust"

And yesterday when I was asked what those eight nubs were on the dog - I said they were her boobs. Because if I had responded with nipples or breasts, rolls of laughter would have been emitted and the educational experience would have been lost. I know I don't teach the proper words - but really I live in a house full of boys.

What words are used in your house?

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. ~ Franklin P. Jones

ewwww

Gross \'gros\ adj 1. lacking knowledge or culture, unrefined 2. boys

I believe we have well mannered children. Even Bradley (who will be 2 on Friday) says peas, tank you, and welcome. I work hard to make sure they know proper dinner etiquette, to say yes sir and yes ma’am and how to ask for something. Others have expressed their admiration in the level of manners our boys exhibit.

They should have been there for breakfast. Breakfast is very relaxed at my house, the twins are up first and I make lunches while they eat at the counter. Tyler wanted to tell me what his friend had taught him at school, but it required getting up and giving me a demonstration.

“Mommy, did you know that if you bend your arm like this (looking at the inside of the elbow) it looks like a butt? And if you take your finger and put it in a brown shirt, and push it through it looks like poop?”

No, I did not know this, and I didn’t even want to watch him do it. Luckily, no brown shirts were nearby.

“What do you think Mommy?”

A response, this requires a response? What am I supposed to say?

“That is gross.”

I didn’t have anything better to say. Most of the grossness I can handle. Farts, burps, blood, dirt, mud, worms, frogs (just no dead ones see older post). I need to come up with some wittier comments. The other day I went in to give the twins a kiss goodnight and Tyler called me back as I was leaving his room. He had sat up on the top bunk and wanted another kiss. As soon as I was in front of him, he farted. Immediately laughter erupted from both of them. This I can handle. It’s natural (for the most part). I’ve been known to pass gas and blame it on my children. Or even pass gas while standing next to one of them. Maybe because I have allowed the ‘grossness’ to some degree they think I can handle arms looking like butts. And I can, I just need wittier comebacks. Any suggestions?

Beans, Beans

They are good for your heart,

The more you eat 'em, the more you fart!