Tuesday, August 4, 2009

I Could go to Jail for...


Lately, there have been some controversial Mom's being arrested for things like making their children walk home after fighting. While I generally believe in our justice system, and generally believe that people are only arrested when they've actually done something wrong, every once in a while I see something occur in my house and I think to myself,

I Could go to Jail for...

  • forgetting to record that I bought $200.00 worth of groceries with 3 boys hyped up on free bakery cookies (writing bad checks)
  • Bradley playing in the dryer (child endangerment - although I did immediately -after a quick photo -put a stop to it - all in a span of taking the clothes out and getting ready to put a new load in)
  • watching Tyler trip over a toy and break his leg - at 1 1/2 years old. (child neglect)
  • all the screaming that may or may not occur in our house (emotional abuse)
  • our escape artist getting outside even though we have nifty childproof handles and locks (child neglect, endangerment)
  • the mess that never ends (unsuitable living conditions)
  • the dead animals (surely fall under unsuitable living conditions)

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I’m not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal. ~ Bill Cosby


46 comments:

  1. Right there with you, only I only have 1 and he's only 10 months old. So, not a lot of screaming. . . yet;-)

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  2. Just think, if someone were to follow you around for a reality show. How would they edit things to make us look like horrid mothers?

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  3. I couldnt agree more - with our three here, it's like a zoo...i could definately be added to that list..lol

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  4. I have about half that list on my guilty verdict. I guess we could be cellmates.

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  5. You'd get off if the jury was made up solely of moms.--Jenn

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  6. lol - you're brave to post these out loud :P

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  7. I think you qualify for the catch and release program. :)

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  8. Congrats on your SITS day! I have a 10 month old boy and am increasingly nervous about mothering a boy! My daughter is a little princess so I look forward to him growing up and getting into all the boy things! Your blog is great! This is a hilarious post. I could write my own! Bill Cosby is so wise!

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  9. I am so glad I don't have little ones to have to watch every second. I really don't know how parents do it. The closest I came to this was taking in a little kitten--that gave me a tiny glimpse of what parenting would be like, but it doesn't even come close! Although, my kitten did jump into the refrigerator when my husband was getting something out and didn't even notice. Fortunately, I happened to be there and saw it.

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  10. Oh dear! I so can relate to these things. My toddler used to go out to the garden with a spoon and eat mud and bugs! My cooking ain't that bad!!

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  11. You would totally get off! What is it about kids and dryers/washers? My 2.5 year old asked if she could climb in the washer (we have front-loading) the other day? What? No!

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  12. First congrats and thanks to SITS I found you and love your stories. Don't fret about going to jail stuff, it occurs in every home. Love the dryer, I so miss those days of little ones getting into those hiding places. Enjoy when they are young because when they become teens it changes.

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  13. Let me just make a checklist to go right along with you!! Last week I encouraged my 17 year old to snowboard down an icy ramp so I could record it. She fell face first in the mud and hyperextended her elbow. Mom of the Year here!

    Happy SITS day!

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  14. Oh my goodness, that is too funny in a warped way. LOL Congrats on your SITS day!

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  15. very true....but we have list!!!!! that's normal......right?!!?!?!?!? :)
    love the bill cosby quote!!!

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  16. I absolutely would be right there with you - Princess Nagger was jumping on our bed when she was 2 while we watched - she fell off the bed and broke her collar bone.

    I think I would be sporting the designer jacket with the sleeves in the back if I added twins to the mix. You're my hero. :)

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  17. You'll be in great company! There' always room for one more in my padded cell...

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  18. I am still laughing...this is such a funny post, and so true, how many times a day should I go to jail? Oh my! (Happy SITS DAY, again!)

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  19. Ha! This is hilarious and oh, so familiar. And I only have a seven month old. :)

    Stopping by from SITS. Happy SITS day!

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  20. HAha... it's okay it happens..but I guess maybe the law doesn't always side that way

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  21. I think of some of the things my parents did when we were young and they would've fallen under the "I could go to jail for this" list most definitely, but I turned out just fine. :)

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  22. ...scary isn't it what could send us to jail these days :)

    Happy SITS day!

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  23. Sounds like a normal day in my house! :)

    Congrats on your SITS day!

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  24. I love this concept of the things we could get arrested for. My friend was once stopped by the cops for trying to drag a screaming two-year-old from a department store. Security suspected her of kidnapping. She said to the kindly officer of the law, "If I were going to kidnap a child, why the hell would I want this one?" That's how they knew she was the real mom. My grown daughters and I blog together. I think we could all get arrested just for what we think of each other some days.

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  25. LOL as a mom I can totally relate to so many of these! Makes me feel normal that I am not the only one! :-)

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  26. As a mom to 3 teen and pre-teen girls, just the yelling and mess alone, would get me hauled off. I did have a friend who got a visit from child services because her toddler unlocked the door and wandered up to the road while mom was cooking breakfast for her 4 children. A passerby brought the toddler back and proceeded to make the call. Luckily, after a thorough investigation, they closed the case.

    There by the Grace of God, go I.

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  27. That Bill Cosby quote is GREAT! I can totally relate, lol.

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  28. Hi, I'm here from SITS.
    This post is so true! I also have 3 boys and one husband. Mine are older than yours, but we still have a lot of little boy behavior in this house. :)
    Have fun with them all!!!

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  29. All I can say is that I would be your cell mate. I have so been there. :)

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  30. Oh my goodness!! So So So true!! Hopefully the FEDS never visit either of our households on one of those fantastic days!

    I fall under the messy house law, everyday of my life! :)

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  31. Yep I would be in the cell next to you. Especially with the unsuitable living conditions (I write as my son is cleaning the toys scattered through the living room.)

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  32. How much do I love this post?! Let's be real; if someone followed parents around 24/7 we'd all go to jail for *something* eventually lol. Congratulations on being FB on SITS today:-)

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  33. Too Funny! I can barely keep up with one boy! :D

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  34. Indeed most days that I actually escape out into outside world---I do wear a hat, dark sunglasses and oversized hoodie.

    I am most certain there are a million "Most Wanted Mommy" flyers posted all over the world in an attempt to get me off the streets!

    I've got some pretty great disguises though!

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  35. Loooove the dryer shot. There are so many times my kids are in trouble, minorly hurt, etc. and I totally stop to get a picture. What the hell, it's for their scrapbook! "That shiner from you riding down the drive way and crashing into the shed is going to be a GREAT senior year book shot!"

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  36. lol. so relatable and I love the Bill Cosby quote! :)

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  37. Oh boy now I have even more to worry about! This is a funny post! Stopping by from SITS!

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  38. Does throwing a kid in the shower fully clothed put me in this same category, "jail"?

    We are all doing our best, but parenting sometimes gets the best of us!

    Happy SITS day!

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  39. Yep, I think all Mom's have stories like that. Fortunately, they usually end without injury. I think it's just that little 1% or whatever that end badly that end up on the news. But hey, you've got to get through life with kids somehow! I'm so very glad I had my 3 boys 10 years apart. I think it was so much easier that way!

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  40. LOVE the dryer pic! I've got one just like it - only with 2 boys in the dryer! Life with boys is never dull and even though I would LOVE to put bows in someone's hair....I wouldn't change a thing!

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  41. Yes! Yes! I used to feel bad at bath time and see bruises all over their bodies, I promise it was from playing!

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  42. I like that Bill Cosby quote. True! True! True

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  43. This is awesome! I could see this as a regular feature--you know, like 'Not Me Mondays', or 'Wordless Wednesdays'...I can see it now--"I Could Go to Jail for...Fridays"!!! Ohhh...the things *I* could go to jail for!!!
    Great post! Here from SITS!!

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  44. OMG...love the dryer picture! What a sneaky little monkey is he!

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  45. Love it! Although I generally am not a big fan of my washer/dryer upright combo, I am now eternally grateful for it. My toddler gets such a glint in her eye every time I open the dryer. (Thank God she can't reach it!)

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  46. I am here late from SITS (always catching up). The dryer picture was funny and it took me a few minutes to figure out it was real. I have two boys under 4 so the amount of screaming in my house can be tremendous. Having kids is tough but to have several boys (including my husband) is a beast all its own.

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