Saturday, October 17, 2009

Dear Soccer Moms

I detest you.  I detested the "soccer mom" persona even before I had kids.  Soccer Moms drive mini vans with soccer ball stickers on the back.  Soccer Moms always have gatorade and healthy snacks at every game.  Soccer Moms dress like they are going to the mall when really they are just carting their kids to every practice under the sun.  Soccer Moms are organized and carry a whole first aid kit in their purse.

I drive a suburban (I hear you gasping at my gas guzzler), it holds more crap than your minivan and if I get rear-ended, my kids aren't going to be crushed.  I prefer juice boxes and chips for an after game snack.  Really, they just played their hearts out and deserve a treat.  I dress like I am going outside, you know, in sweats.  I limit my kids to one sport or other activity per season, because I prefer them to be kids and have time to play outside.  You know, where there is real dirt.  I don't carry a first aid kit, but I do know how to get to the ER if they are really hurt.  Otherwise they are kids and are going to have scraped knees and bruised elbows.

Thats you, this is me.  And for two years our boys played baseball, but then, this fall T1 decided he wanted to play soccer (my gasp) and T2 agreed.  So there I am at every game, in my sweats sitting next to you in your capri pants and blouse.  I'm the one you look at and wonder what's wrong with her, when I scream great job even though someone just made a mistake on the field.  I'm also the one who's kids run the fastest and aren't scared to go for the ball because they may get dirty.

Mom in the Suburban
Who Prefers Rugby to Soccer Everytime!


  1. I love it. I totally agree with you. My daughter is starting soccer next month and I'm dreading the soccer moms. Thanks so much for this post.

  2. I too am a Burb Mom. I love my guzzler. And I'm pretty sure I only own a few blouses...and they are only worn on Sundays.

  3. LOL Hilarious! Your kids sound like they have more fun. ;0)

    Thanks for stopping by on my SITS day!!

  4. i'm with you on this. i have my kiddo involved in tennis and swimming so i don't have to with all the "soccer mom" stuff. i sit on a bench and watch my kid and keep to myself. i do yell, "keep your eyes on the ball!" or "stop swallowing the water!" I love my SUV too. take care.

  5. We don't do any sports. Thank goodness because I can't stand those moms. And they are everywhere.

  6. Love this! I detest those perfect, perky moms too! Loved your comment about the suburban. I have a Yukon so just a little smaller and that is exactly how I feel about it!

    Thanks for stopping by my blog day through SITS. Glad I got the chance to 'meet' you!

  7. I enjoyed reading this. I have a theory that women have multiple personalities. I totally felt my "yah-you-tell-them" personality come out while reading this. Very empowering.

  8. An insightful post on 3boys1hubbywhatnext
    I did come across a website It’s has all information on first aid emergencies. It has information on Human emergencies and even for pets like cat or dog. Hope it help you guys too.

    Signature: Online First Aid Kit

  9. I'm so glad I am not the only one who feels this way - thanks for all your support!


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