Today I want to complain about all the crap they do not tell us when we are trying to get pregnant or are pregnant, because yes 2 1/2 years later I am STILL feeling the effects.
No one said
- that my bladder would become a stomping ground and therefore any time a baby jumped I'd pee myself. Fabulous when this happens for the first time while your in public and haven't learned to pack a change of clothes yet. Fabulous that childbirth doesn't automatically fix the problem.
- that with multiple babies in my belly I would have so little room to breathe or eat. I understood it would be cramped, but never have I had to sit so straight and breathe so shallow while trying to feed my face.
- that my ankles would swell so large I'd have to buy larger shoes and eventually larger sandals would be the only thing that would fit. They also didn't say how this swelling would follow on up my legs into my calves.
- that after giving birth you look like you have a beer gut.
- that you will no longer know how not to sleep on your side with a pillow holding your stomach.
- that if you push out a 9lb 4oz baby you are going to have hemorrhoids, and that even if they don't show up immediately they will - and they will hurt so bad you cry, and you won't be able to sit and you will dread going to the doctor.
Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes. ~Joyce Armor