Twas the Night Before

In case you haven't noticed I like to take songs and twist them around a bit.  (don't believe me?  I did it for SITSmas and awards day )  My favorite poem to change is Twas the Night before Christmas.  I'm sending it to all my friends this year in new age style (via facebook, because I never got around to printing and mailing them). 

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Every creature was stirring except for my spouse.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.

The children had been nestled all snug in their beds,

But wouldn't sleep because visions of toys danced in their heads.

And while Daddy was enjoying his long winter's nap,

I was waiting for the twins to try and set a trap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

Hailey sprang from the couch to see what was the matter.

Away to the window she and Morgan flew like a flash,

Tore open the blinds and ripped up the sash.

The moon on the crest of the grass covered in frost

Gave the lustre of new to the toys once lost.

I quieted the dogs for there was nothing to fear,

It's not like there was a sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the carpet

The sound in the night that always makes me fret.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the hallway little man came with a bound.

He was dressed all in paper, from his head to his feet,

And his clothes were all covered in ribbons so neat.

Carrying a bundle of toys he had opened with great care and tact,

And he looked like a peddler, just examining his pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His drool on his little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the glimmer of his diaper was sagging like snow.

The stump of a candy cane he held tight in his teeth,

And the wrapper lay in a pile beneath.

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!

A blink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread.

The twins spoke not a word, but looked straight at his work,

All the empty stockings caused them to jerk.

All the toys lay spread on the floor in rows,

And giving a nod, they chased him like foes!

Little man sprang to the side of the couch,

He knew they wanted him to say ouch,

But I heard him exclaim, ‘as he ran into bed,

"Merry Christmas to all, that was quite a spread!"