Ask someone who loves you what one of your weaknesses are. That's what Mama Kat said to do for this week's Writer's Workshop. Who wants to do that? (well if you want to - go play along here).
I didn't want to - and I sure as hell wasn't going to ask my husband what my weakness is. He'd come up with a whole darn list. Then I'd have to defend myself against all his crap leading to an epic battle of good verses evil.
I'd like to stay married, so no thanks. I did however ask my best friend, who loves me no matter what.
Me: I'm working on a project - need to ask you, What is my weakness?
BFF: You want to help everyone. What is the project?
Me: Why is helping everyone bad? Nope, not telling the project.
BFF: I think it is good to help people, just you need to take care of you too.
Well. I guess it could have been worse. She could have said my weakness was dirty old men.
Honestly - I know all they psyh crap that Oprah shows every week. Mom's don't take care of themselves enough. We need to put ourselves first. If we don't take care of ourselves, we won't be able to take care of anyone else. BLAH BLAH BLAH.
She is my best friend and she is right. I have extreme issues with doing anything for myself. I shut right up when she said it. I didn't want to talk about it anymore with her, because she knows me best. And she'll argue with me.
You guys, well, you guys can't argue until I actually post this. So I get to voice my opinion first.
Helping people is not a weakness. I love to help people. I love to be a Mommy and care for my family. I love to care for those outside of my family. I will go out of my way to help someone who needs it under one condition. They help someone else when they are able. If you are a lifesucker (meaning you suck the life out of others) then sorry- no can do.
I give of myself because I enjoy it. Yes, there are times when I get run down - exausted - a little frazzled. But those times are worth it. I was born to be a mom, to give to others, to take care of others.
So what if I believe others should come first. Why is that a big deal? Why is it a big deal that I only own 2 pairs of jeans, if I am able to make sure my children have enough. I can wash my own, and mine don't get as dirty. Why is it a big deal that I skip my trips to the dentist to send the kids? I believe that if my family and those around me are taken care of- then that is all that matters. I make do because I want to, not because I have to.
After stating my case I disagree, giving to others is not my greatest weakness. (I still love you BFF). I may need help from time to time taking care of me, but not too often to worry. I believe my greatest weakness are those new Reese's Whipped. What's yours?
Wherever you go, go with all your heart. ~Confucius
Often our greatest weakness is our greatest strength :-)
ReplyDeleteSometimes, you need to take care of you first before you're able to give to others.
ReplyDeleteI have a friend who puts everyone ahead of her and, was in a miserable marriage. She put her husband's needs before hers and all her children saw was a woman who was unhappy and mistreated.
She's putting herself first (ditching the husband) and showing her kids that they should never be in an unhealthy relationship.
This doesn't sound like you. You sound as though you're in a healthy marriage and love your life. I think your friend just wants you to have a little 'me' time so you don't run down or get sick from always giving to others.
Now you've peaked my interest...Reese's Whipped...haven't tried that yet. I do like helping others too, makes ya feel good. But at the same time, I love me some "me time", I think that's the introverted part of me.
ReplyDeleteHi there - visiting from Mama Kat's.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that it's not a weakness. Whew. It's good to know you are now without fault, isn't it? (grin)
But it's probably the biggest battle moms face.
You know, I think you make a very good point! And from your point of view, helping is NOT a weakness! And I agree with you too about the lifesuckers. I don't mind helping someone out as long as they help someone else in their time of need.
ReplyDeleteBut at some point I do think we all need a break to just focus on ourselves for a little while...like maybe going to get a pedicure on a Saturday morning all by ourselves or splurging on those sandals we've been wanting just in time for summer.
I guess it's all about finding a balance between helping others and helping ourselves.
LOL @ dirty old men.
ReplyDeleteHelping people can be a weakness. I have that. Right now, I'm sort of feeling like I'm being beat up and taken advantage of for it, which is making me rethink some things. :(
But, in general, it is a good weakness to have.
I think that is a "weakness" that a lot of moms have. Good for you for shrugging off the label and being proud of who you are!
ReplyDeleteMine is close to yours. I never tell people no. I get what you are saying but I see it as a weakness.
ReplyDelete